Change of Blog

I've decided it's time to say goodbye to my Music is Change blog and begin "Music is forever". This blog was good for me and helped me grow, but it rings of an era that I've said goodbye to. Feel free to take a peek at emmyb2.blogspot.com for my newer thoughts and insights!
Happy 2010.

My Cat Gnome Project: Cleo Abroad

Cleo in Paris...

Cleo in Berlin...

Cleo in Holland....

Cleo in Ireland...

Hope my parents have a good journey!~

Musings

I've been sick for a while--probably more than I've ever been in my life (but that's not saying a lot; I've been blessed with good health)-- and in my inability to move around, I've been able to think. Sometimes these thoughts have been odd. For example, after reading lots of fantasy novels, a head clouded with pain, medications and residue from fever can really conjured up odd images (and songs) of dancing pixies. Scary.............................. But I've been in good spirits and I realize that maybe I have reached my own limits, maxed out in the "I can do anything/everything" department. So that's good. And I've read two books worth noting below:

Jeremy Fink and the Meaning of Life (by Wendy Mass--- I also love her novel about synasthesia and her coming of age novel "Every Soul a Star")
I am impressed at how she is able to develop a mystery/excitement about a boy's trying to find the keys to open a box that his deceased father left him, containing (supposedly) The Meaning of Life. The people he meets and the conversations he has on the way are just priceless....philosophical but not preachy.

A Hat Full of Sky (by Terry Pratchett--who can't go wrong by me, but this was unusually profound).
I love the coming of age of this young witch, and the bumbling characters she meets. I love the idea of a witch with two bodies (who was her mentor). I also am very touched by the subtle anti-commercialistic messages that Granny Weatherwax teaches, leading to the young witch's letting go of her need for a store-bought starred hat, and needing instead to find her own natural hat full of sky.

Gratitude

Winter has passed.

The first earthworms were out yesterday.

I am tired...so I write simply. Life is good. I am grateful for a job I love, people I care about, a cozy and safe house to return to at night........

Music is change. Life changes. I'm not always happy with the losses.

In this photo, my grandparents always dance together joyfully.

Dances end.

I hope I can always hold onto the joy, and the memory of joy.

Today's Thought...

I was just doodling, and this is what I came up with.... Note the forsythia in my window is taller than last year...

Hopeful Worldwide Moments

I've been thinking about the world of news lately, and about how exciting 2008 was for me. So often, the external world shares bad news. My first forays into daily newspaper reading were in the times of Chernobyl, the bombings of Libya, and the Challenger's fiasco. Now, over 20 years later, there have been so many other devastating events--some on a larger scale, some on a smaller scale. I have been pulled into stories of failed airplanes and failed nations. I have found myself following how the potential for a national surplus shed into a humongous national debt. I've followed the news about wars and disease. Please don't think I've enjoyed learning about these aspects of the world; au contraire, I've hated it! However, I want to be an informed human, and I believe that by knowing the world, we can better make changes in it.

So...why is this blog entry called "Hope"?

Looking back on the past, I can think of a few HUGE moments that gave me hope. The first biggie was the launch of the first Space Shuttle. I was in first grade, and it was my first time watching the news on TV. My dream was to be an astronaut. (Challenger ended that!...and if it hadn't, my own motion sickness would have!) Having a space ship that could come back to the earth and then take off again was thrilling. After that, happy news stories involved Mary Lou Retton's success in the Olympics, or the Mets' winning a World Series. Perestroika was hopeful in my dreams of a world peace, but shaded by my concern at the long bread lines and growing poverty. I dreamed of meeting a marrying a cartographer as the maps of Eastern Europe were being redrawn...but I wasn't sure if that was hopeful. I've been thrilled at much of the progress in medicine that I've followed online; I am still awaiting a definitive cure (vaccine?) for AIDS and cancer. Another hopeful moment for me was when smoking was banned from many public places. Also, I loved watching the rise of children's literature... especially the addition of a Children's Books Bestsellers list in the NY Times.

However, 2008 takes the cake.

I have never ever ever felt such hope on a national and global scale as I did with the series of events leading up to Barack Obama's election. I still feel a frisson of excitement (is that redundant?) when I remember the moment when I knew that the numbers would work out for changing him from the nominee to the President Elect.

I hope that he will be able to guide the world towards a safer, kinder place, and help restore our education system and create a health system that works for all.

I know that the world will put road blocks in his way.

I know that all the hopes of change will not be fulfilled and that change takes work and compromise.

I know that one person alone cannot make ALL that change.... and yet, his election was the result of many, many people. And one person can make an awful lot of change. I live my life hoping I can make the world better on a local scale. Here's hope that with a new regime this world will begin to repair itself.

So..............what are other hopeful moments in YOUR memories?

Figment

As a child, my favorite Disney attraction was EPCOT's "Journey into Imagination". It helped confirmed my childlike zest for life and creativity, and I simply loved the purple dragon, Figment. (I was also into Elliot, the green dragon in Pete's Dragon.) In a world where there are always so many pressures to be "grown up", the message in the old ride was that anyone can be playful, not only children. I just found a youtube video of the old ride: www.youtube.com/watch?v=TI2VcQRMOM0&feature=related

Some years back, they did away with the Dreamfinder who leads the ride, and replaced it with a different kind of mad scientist. Figment was taken out of the ride for awhile. It was, consequently, with some trepidation that I returned to the reconfigured ride.

My response? Drum roll please.......

It wasn't as dreadful as I feared. That is: They kept the theme song. Hurrah! Hooray! Oh Frabjous Day Calloo Callay! (Some lyrics were altered.) They kept the value of imagination, and added the idea of teaching HOW to imagine by using different senses. In fact, it was more of a lesson in imagining than anything else.

However, I don't understand why Dreamfinder was removed, and why the playful, capricious side of creativity was underplayed.

I'm glad I had the old ride as an influence on my earlier years.

Eat Pray Love

I just finished reading this book, and enjoyed it thoroughly. This may surprise you, because (unless it's by Jodi Picoult or Elizabeth Berg) I rarely go to grown-up books! (Okay, 3 Cups of Tea and the Camel Bookmobile were exceptions too...maybe I'm growing up a bit?) I tend to gravitate to coming of age fantasy and science fiction YA books. This was a more mainstream book than what I'm used to.
However, I was inspired by the book to think about what is most important to me. Normally, I say people, creativity, nature, learning, and appreciating life are crucial for me when trying to create a life well-lived. However, those are big ideas, not goals. This week, I'm trying to give words to three overarching goals for my life, ones that I can check in on each day, ones that I can make sure aren't at odds with one another.

So far, this is what I have:

a) I want to be aware of my life, and appreciate it as I experience it. All too often, we look back on the past and see that we didn't notice important details because we were too busy brooding over what has been lost or worrying about what's ahead. I think of Emily of Our Town, and how she realizes how much she missed of life when she was living it. In my younger years, I tried to solve this problem by recording everything in my journal. Now, however, I want to solve it by living life with an appreciative heart.

b)I want to be a purveyor of hope, joy and compassion for the people in my life, a positive force for growth. There are so many splendid people who have helped me get to where I am today by being kind, by listening, by recommending a book or guiding me through hard times. I hope that I can pass this kindness forward....without being judgemental.

c) I want to go beyond thinking creative thoughts; I want to perform actions that make the world better. Tikkun Olam.... I want to create songs and stories and lessons and photos that will endure beyond my life span, that will be a record and a source of hope or amusement for people in the future.

I think I'll need to compact these values, these goals... but that's where I am today.
What about you?

Winter Break

I planned the winter break well, for once! On the first night of the vacation, I rushed to NY to see my first childhood friend and her family, because she was in from CA and it was my one chance to see her. We laughed, ate, and laughed some more. Arriving home at 2:30 in the morning, I napped a tad and then zoomed to Philly airport in the morning to fly down to Florida.

Ah! Warmth! Family! Nature! I enjoyed the wildlife in Hommosassa Springs. It would be great to have a photo of the manatees here, but instead, a hippo will have to do. (Yes, I had "a Hippopotomus for Christmas"... Lou was his name and he ate pumpkin pie and melons. He had his dessert first.) I loved walking on the beach and looking for hermit crabs with my niece, digging to reach water with my niece and nephew, talking with my sisters and seeing dolphins. It was luxury to be able to swim outside and chat with my mother, and to see how happy my father was to have us all together. We needed this family time. (I'll add that it was odd for me to be in my deceased sister's part of the world, to see the hospital where she had stayed, and to know she is gone.)

At the end of the trip, I spent one day at Epcot. My Grandma had taken me there as a special trip the year after my grandfather had died, the year the park had opened. Therefore, I have always associated the park with her. Ironically, I stopped going to FL for the holidays in my late teens, and ended up spending winter break largely with Grandma while my immediate family went to the parks, and so I also associate NOT being at Epcot with being with Grandma. Anyway, the last time I was there, Gram and I had flown down from Islip (Macarthur Airport) and she was well enough to do so. Mel was alive and had driven down with my parents. Nana and Papa met us down there. At that point, Pocahontas had just been out in the movie theaters--it was that long ago. We didn't have home email accounts yet. So much has changed in my life.

My niece is now the age I was when I first went to Epcot. It was hard for me to watch her and imagine her remembering this trip 25 years in the future, after so much more will have been lost. I miss my Grandma a lot. And yet, she would have been so unhappy with this war, this 9-11 and post 9-11 world. I went on a ride alone (Spaceship Earth-- which had broken down for about an hour with us on it, many years ago), and just thought about her with loving memories.

I loved having my nephew on my lap, late in the evening, just before the fireworks. He was so tired, and so at ease with me. I felt part of an eternal rite, being Auntie. Lucky me!

After a goodbye breakfast with my parents, I flew back to Philly and made it home in time to go to a party at a friend's house. The next day, I had friends visit, and today has been a calm day to "regroup", to gather photos, to clean up after the cats, to buy a new winter coat and some socks, and yes, to see Desperaux and finish reading Eat, Pray, Love.

Best of all--- I still have 5 more days of vacation!

I hope you are as peaceful as I am!

Thoughts on a Snowy Evening

A gentle snow tonight...and some time to catch up on letters, photos, and sleep.

School is going well. I'm not a morning person, and I didn't know how I would manage leaving for school before sunrise. Instead of resenting the early start, I am looking forward to my first period class each day. How lucky! I'm even beginning to regret all the sunrises I missed in my late-morning days.

I have a few photos that belong on this blog about change. They are both from Thanksgiving morning. I went for a walk on the beach with my friend Liz. What a perfect visit! Anyway, along the shore we found some petals left over from someone's celebration. That's the first picture. The second one is just a simple waves on the shoreline picture. "Life's vicissitudes".... In and out... Up and down.... Winter and summer.

To continue my free association random thoughts of this posting, I have to comment about accompanying the school choruses. It's such a funny world--when I started out in this district about a decade ago (!), I became close friends with Karen, the music teacher. She is still one of my kindred spirits to this day. For all of the concerts, I enjoyed accompanying her groups, and through our interactions I regained my love for music. Now, I'm back in the district again, and accompanying the choruses again for the winter concerts. Several of the songs are even the same as I played for Karen's choruses. It's equally fun for me, because I love accompanying. I enjoy working with the choral conductor-- he's very talented. It's just a very very different experience. I'm older. The students are older. The conductors are different. Time has changed. And yet, in this instance, music is the same.

That's all for tonight! I hope everyone is well in this busy time of year!

It's been a long time

I haven't updated this blog in a long time, but now it is time to resume my blog-writing.

In the past few months, I have been writing a lot, but for myself. Now it is time to share again.

Just a few brief comments, though, in this posting.

a) I LOVE my new job. I finally feel like what I'm doing is personally meaningful and has a potential for impact. I'm also growing immensely (emotionally and intellectually.) Middle school was a nightmare time for me, and now, being in a middle school each day, I am actually happy!

b) It snowed last week. Here: this is a photo of the October 28th snowstorm. I couldn't get home that night, even. So many trees fell down. I didn't memorialize THAT; instead, I memorialized the beauty.

c) Clinton Area Stage Troupe involved me in their second production, a Ziegfeld style "Fall Follies". I played the piano and recited a poem (with comedic additions from a guitar player and other sound effects.) Clinton used to have two active theater groups, but they faded with time (and falling finances.) I hope that this theater picks up. We need the arts in this world.

Anyway, between the two performances, I walked to the lake and just sat there quietly, admiring the honking geese and ducks, the glimmering light reflections on the water, the steadfast mill. Above all, I loved watching the crescent moon rise and the stars push out, slowly, from the sunset to the night sky.

catch-up

I haven't written for a while, but now it is summer and my whole world has changed.

On my 34th birthday, I resigned from my previous job as a Spanish teacher. I have taught Spanish for 13 years, as long as I was in the public school system as a child. It was time to move on. I am sad about the goodbyes (said and unsaid...I didn't know I was leaving on the last day of school!) and I know this move is necessary for me.I signed a contract to be a middle school "Gifted and Talented" teacher in my former district.
I am SO excited about the change. I will meet so many new people and have so much to think about, so much to create, so much to do.



Now it is summer, and a buffer zone between two worlds. I'm doing lots of curriculum work for different places (ESL for the county, Jewish history for a Sunday school, Gifted for my grad school practicum). It's a time for visiting with friends, gardening, reorganizing, reading, lollygagging, and traveling a bit. I went to California for a week, and I have a visit to Kansas ahead of me. Also, I'll be teaching at the Summer Institute for the Gifted again this summer, down in Princeton. This is a good time, and a time of change.

So............that's my excuse for not writing!

A Few Spring Nature Experiences...

...and the inspiration they have given me!



This photo, which I think is one of the best ones I have ever taken (!), is of a lake in the Stokes Forest where I was camping with the Peretz school this weekend. When the weather forecasted intermittent rain (and much of the state was under a tornado watch), I did not expect to be able to go canoeing, hiking, and flute-playing by in the woods. In the creative arts, the element of surprise does add a certain joy or catchiness to a work; after a dinner-time rainstorm, the lighting outside was so dramatically exuberant that I just had to photograph anything I could! I want to ponder how light has an effect on photography like instrumentation has an effect on music composition. Likewise, the ever-changing light of a day really is an element of the ephemeral in this artform.


Over Memorial Day weekend, I spent a day at Ringing Rocks Park in PA and then had a picnic by the Frenchtown (NJ) bridge with some friends. I grew up on Long Island, and my water time was spent either at the beach or at duck ponds. Rivers are such a huge part of my life here in NJ, though. There is a mix of constancy and change. There's the drama bit too; unfortunately I have seen first hand the results of the Raritan overflowing in Bound Brook and other places. There's a serene part about having time to sit by the river, or a day to walk along the tow paths between the rivers and canals. And then there's that factor of "You never stand in the same river twice"--just like no song is performed exactly the same way twice.



Here's my photo of Ringing Rocks Park. If you have never been there, you'd really enjoy visiting this glacial field of stones. Bring a hammer; these rocks are like no other I have ever seen or heard! They RING (think xylophones!). I've been there three times this year, and each time I have enjoyed making music with friends on the rocks. I'm filled with wonderment of how the stones got here, why they ring the way they do, and what the stories are of all the people who have visited this site.


My last "nature" photo is of a squirrel on the Princeton campus. About a week ago, I visited my college roommate (and good friend) and we chose Princeton as a practical half-way place between our houses. When I saw this squirrel munching on some scavenged food on the garbage can, I just had to take this photo. You see, years ago, when I was looking into colleges, Princeton seemed like a good choice for me. It was the caliber I was seeking, the right size, AND the right distance from home. However, on the day I visited the campus, it was raining and gloomy and nobody seemed very friendly. It was just the luck of the day I was there, but that visit set my mind against ever attending that college. (Since then, I have had experiences teaching there at a Summer Institute, but that's another story.) Anyway, I always said that the most friendly being at met at the school that day was a squirrel. Well, here was another friendly squirrel from my visit!

Anyway, it has been great to have such kind weather for being outside. Somehow, I'm posting more photos on this blog than I intended, but it's an added bonus about this multi-media journaling, and something I didn't expect when I set out to experiment with the blog form!

Enjoy the spring!

Pride!

Just a brief note---music is change, and change can be growth--and yesterday, with the support of a friend, I survived going to the dentist....for the first time in MANY MANY years. "Look ma, no cavities!"....What a relief! It wasn't comfortable; it wasn't easy; AND I survived. (Such a big baby!).

I sang ancient melodies in my head -- old, wordless nigguns-- and comforted myself, too.

It's over!

And, afterwards, I made an arbor for my wisteria. It's struggling with its own weight pulling it down, and needs something to rest upon, or reach up to. Nature is healing.

I'm proud. In the past few years, I've conquered so many of my old fears.

Tikkun Olam

I am often inspired by my friends; what luck I have to know the people I know!
One of my friends is, like me, by passion a composer. It may not be his career, but it is certainly his gift. Last year, my orchestra played a piece that he wrote; we did not do it justice, but we certainly loved working on it. I wish I could find another orchestra to perform it!

Anyway, he went and "did it again" this year; last week, my secular humanist Jewish school had its annual graduation, and the kids sang a song he composed about Repairing the World/ Tikkun Olam. (It's a belief that I hold too--I am in this world to help make the world better, wherever and however I can.) Again, I hope that in the future he can get a more professional recording of the song; I think he's working on it. It's a completely different genre than the orchestra performance of last May...and it's clear that the kids loved singing it. Here's the link to the song. It's a video of the kids performing it. (I wan't involved except as a delighted audience member. Sometimes that's delightful, too!).

It's refreshing to know there are other people creating and working to make the world better. Sometimes I feel like I'm alone on my journey. In contrast, sometimes I feel like I'm not doing enough!